Scrolling through the walls of my social media platforms can be very entertaining. As usual, it is full of cute puppy pictures, cat videos, and lately, #feelthebern galore. But when a little piece like the image below shows its face on my newsfeed, I feel the need to say something about it. It’s like an itch to do my part in helping this country have less of those supporters Trump loves so much.
Forget this so called new age shit!
If he's hungry, feed him!
House a mess? Clean it!
His clothes are dirty? Wash them!
He's had a long day? Rub his back and give him some love and affection!
He's stressed? Just leave him be and pray for him!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with catering to YOUR man!
Do not let some new age, bitter, single braud tell you otherwise."
The statement is clearly meant to attack empowered cis women who don’t quite adhere to their fixed gender roles assigned by a male-dominated society. It even attempts to be insulting and discrediting by referring to these same women as “single bitter [broads]” in its last reassuring statement to the reader. The man is also clearly dressed in career attire, while the woman depicted is virtually naked, rendering her a perceived half-naked servant to the man's desires, wishes, and needs.
Because obviously that is what we are all supposed to look like.
Because obviously this is the way it’s supposed to be.
Because obviously if you look remotely like either of these people, that’s the role you’re supposed to play.
Well I may not be single or bitter, but I am broad. A tough old broad, in fact, and with a lot of things to say. One of them being that I find this image and it's message appallingly sexist, and potentially damaging to young women, men, trans, and nonbinary folk who are building their perception of what a healthy relationship looks like.
So here is my educational rewrite of the lovely passage; a little less patriarchal, and tad more gender equitable.
"Spoil them. And let them spoil you too.
Forget this so called new age shit! Accept and love each other. Just be you, say what you feel, do what you want, and understand and accept when your partner does the same.
he one of you is hungry, feed each other! If they cook, you clean, if they clean, you cook!
House a mess? Clean it! Divide up chores! If they are too busy to take care of their share and you have the time, help them! If you're both home, clean together while drinking a bottle of cheap wine and listening to 90's punk rock, while your dog dry humps your brand new drapes.
His Their clothes are dirty? Wash them! I'm sure you have some dirty clothes too, so you might just do those as well, I mean it makes sense. Don't waste quarters, because laundry can get expensive.
Oh, they’re busy working their second job? Put away said laundry so they can come home and lay down on the bed instead of having to put the clothes away first.
He's They’ve had a long day? Rub his their back and give him them some love and affection! Draw a bubble bath, pop a beer or pour some wine, and give them their favorite book, game, playlist, etc.
That shit should go both ways, I mean, you love each other, right?
He's They’re stressed? Just leave him them be and pray for them! If you subscribe to any religion or set of beliefs, that is, but if you don’t, that’s cool too, because you could also just order a custom pizza that resembles a pokeball, get them a six pack of dos XX, call their best friend, and let them chill it out. Or get them a mani-pedi at their favorite salon, and cuddle with them when they get home. Or both. Or give them some space if that’s what they need.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with catering to your
man significant other!
But let's not forget that you are not each other's property, so you might want to refrain from calling each other “yours/his/hers/theirs”.
In fact, you are each your own person, and each have your own wants and needs.
So let's not expect this shit to be one-sided, because that is just not going to get us anywhere.
And do not let anybody tell you otherwise."