am I allowed to say I'm sorry
am I allowed to apologise for snapping each
twig in my branches to make way for more sunlight
is it okay to say forgive me for cutting my bowels open so piled smoke from claustrophobic lungs can finally show me the air is a gaping throat that struggles to swallow everything coming out of my body,
are you okay with my silence
sitting in place of myself,
overturned blanket enshrouding both of us,
hands, legs, faces,
but why is it still so cold?
is it okay to sometimes stand under the water fountain in the school yard,
drenched with my mouth shaped like a second facet for your bad blood,
is it okay to apologise to myself over and over for my mirror that is framed by the self-pity you left behind three years ago,
the frame I have repainted as many times as I've apologised,
hoping each time my colour blind eyes are forgiven.
The Poetical Arsonist