What Do You Wish For Your Offenders?

We keep saying and hearing the popular phrase, “If wishes were horses, beggars would be riders.” We usually assume that our wishes are mere thoughts with no effects if not backed with action. But what if we are wrong? What if our wishes (the bad ones) that we voiced out actually happened? Would we feel happy about the outcome?

I’m sure almost everyone is guilty of entertaining some bad wishes in their heads for the people who have offended us. We barely expect them to come true; but it does help us feel better to wish them ill for a while as if that would be an exact payback for the hurt they caused us.

They say revenge is a meal best served cold. And everyone on a revenge mission should dig two graves. No amount of revenge can fully fill in the grief we feel; it only widens the vacuum of discontentment we feel inside. Why not save ourselves the trouble and let it go?

I was told of this alarming story about my father’s brother. Apparently, his sister was gravely ill and it looked like she wasn’t going to make it. So the brother said out of despair that how he wished he would die in his sister’s place if that was possible. Amazingly, he fell seriously ill some days later and died. The sister recovered but also passed some years later. I’m sure he meant well; he wanted his dear sister to get better but unfortunately, his wishes came true and for what exactly? She still died anyway. Who knows what he could have become if he were to be alive today?

Someone may pass a demeaning comment about our person or situation and out of anguish, wish them the worst for the rest of their lives. Why sentence someone’s life to an eternity of pain over a moment of hurt that would last only temporarily? And besides, no matter how careful we might consider ourselves with our words, there are moments we also lost control of our tongue and uttered something hurtful to someone. Maybe we apologized, maybe we didn’t. We might even have forgotten we said such a thing. Oh, it was just a joke; nothing serious. But the receiving party may not see it that way.

If people had to wish ill of us after every ‘seemingly harmless joke gone wrong’, where do you think we would end up by now? The truth is, as long as the sun rises and sets, people will offend us both deliberately and accidentally. It is up to us to deal with it in the best healthy way possible.

Teens may find themselves clashing with parents over choice of clothes, company or hangouts. Out of frustration, they might wish that they had no father/mother to make their lives miserable. They might say this because their friends living with either father or mother might be living their lives more freely and would want that for themselves too. If only they knew how their friends also wished that they lived with both mother and father who would care about what they did with their lives. Thank God He doesn’t answer wishes that doesn’t mean well for us. If He did, we would be the losers at the end.

When someone offends you, kindly make up an excuse for him/her and move on. Let it go and live your life. There’s no point holding yourself bound to resenting someone who may be living his life with no recall of what he might have said to you.

Wish everyone well; both your sympathizers and haters. Who knows, as you do, someone else would be doing same for you.


© Josephine Amoako 2016


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